Yesterday I happen to visit the orphanage of Mother Teresa. There were babies from 1day old to 5 years. I happen to be one of those people who like doing voluntary service once in a while purely for selfish reasons; I go to spend some time with the most innocent Angels of God, to do speed post delivery of all my prayers through their sweet voice. Otherwise when I don’t have any demands from my Maker, I go for some satisfaction that I am doing some good to some of the best people on earth: the little babies of these homes.
I noticed a new born this time who was too striking. She was this little baby girl who was just 5 days old, so beautiful was she that I wondered how a mother could abandon such a tiny little wrap. It was then that one of my nun friends told me that some unwed mothers happen to go to abortion centers and some few doctors who have some conscience left in them suggest the children’s home of Mother Teresa or such centers where they could come and stay till they gave birth and then give up all rights on the child by agreeing for adoption. These women happen to be just caught in unfortunate circumstances. I saw one such mother feeding the baby, and on enquiry came to know that she was going to stay till the baby is 3 months old, so that she could give her breast milk and then leave the baby with the nuns for adoption. These women who stay back happen to work with these nuns all over India after giving up their child in cases where they can’t return home.
There was something else that everyone should know and that is that foreigners adopt kids who were born with birth defects since Indians wouldn’t take them. One such child is Priston who is being adopted by an Italian family. He is due to leave in March. Priston is 5 years old and has gone through a by pass surgery already at his young age and happen to have 6 fingers on his hands and feet. This little boy happens to hold the heart of many even though he has a weak heart. He sings movie songs with such childish perfection that it’s difficult not to fall in love with him. Every Sunday morning he attends Church and during the singing he lifts both his hands up and prays to God. During prayers he lifts his hands up and looks up into the skies and sings with such sincerity that it renders anyone with awe at his complete faith.
Almost all the kids from here get adopted except the ones who have retardation, and such is another girl named Lily who is 10 years old. Now days not many babies are handed over to the Children’s Home of Mother Teresa. There are a lot of people who happen to exchange the babies when they are in the hospitals before notifying the concerned authorities. And when the concerned CWC (Child Welfare & Care ) , the CSW ( Community Social worker ) representatives send these kids according to the need of the child to different institutions, it so happens that during these exchanges there are a lot of malpractices conducted too. Some of these new borns exchanged illegally are sold off to owners of extreme sports and betting , where they use the babies in the most inhuman way for some twisted sense of adventure and thrill. During the earlier days, before the advent of technology, the cruelest way was practiced in Rajasthan where these new born are tied to the legs of the camels during the race to make the camels run faster because of the cries of the baby.
Giving babies up for legal adoption ensures their safety and also preserves their history , as many of these kids who were adopted into foreign homes come back to the orphanages to meet the nuns and know where they have come from. The confidentiality clause does not allow for disclosure of sensitive information, yet something is better than nothing for these kids who want to know their roots.
In order to legally adopt a newborn baby of few days old, the parents should be below 45 years old with an ownership of a home and a stable job. Every institution has their rules and regulations but in general all these places have these basic requirements. An amount of Rs.25 thousand is deposited in the name of the Child and the institution from which the baby is adopted as is the policy of Mother Teresa’s children’s homes. Single parents can also adopt but they are not given preference in mother Teresa’s Orphanages. In case the parents are above 50 years old a child of 5 years and above is the only option given, since a psychological bond is difficult to form for a baby to parents who are older than 50 years normally due to the age gap.
Anyways the same day I encountered a different experience of a lifetime relating to a kid whom I happen to chance upon. In the evening I was walking on marine drive and this child approaches me with this toy, which illuminates when swung like ping-pong. I talked to this boy of 8 or 9 years old, he told me that he was from Bihar and he came here for his holidays with his parents to sell things and make money.
On further enquiry he told me his uncle is there with him now, and he went to school too. I had my doubts about his explanations, but then his uncle who was hardly 20 years old came down, He then told me that the toy costs Rs.10, upon which I told him I didn’t bring any cash with me since I was here just for a walk. The boy simply gave the toy to me and told me it was a gift from him, initially I thought he was trying to be smart and then I realized he actually meant it , on my refusal to take it, he just left. I called after him for his name and he shouted “ AZAD”.
I was still not convinced and went near him and returned the toy upon which he said these words “ keep it, I am giving it out of happiness and I would be offended if you return my gift” ,I couldn’t say anything more, I just smiled at him and Azad the 9 year old left smiling. I went back to my car to retrieve some money then, but I couldn’t find him, that’s when I realized he had actually gifted the toy to me and didn’t expect me to reward him at all. Like his name he was free and was among those kids who liked their freedom more than anything. I resolved to give the toy to Priston.: A gift from a free orphan to one who wanted to be secured with care and a name.
It made me wonder about the ironies of life.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
History Fights? : Silence is Golden!
History, past and old stories: it’s a bane and a boon. Words are not enough to express how much past effect the present when the events are narrated out of spite or to win a situation by a person who is malevolent over an argument and whose ego is hurt momentarily. The age-old wisdom of never to bring up the past to win a situation is very true and tested through centuries. It may be just a minute’s satisfaction to get an up on somebody but it destroys trust, it brings about violence and pent up anger & hurt. When the past opens up, it has nothing but old wrongs which are long been compensated, old habits which have long been conquered, and old defeats which has been turned into wins, yet when someone uses that past to get back at you in the present, it’s like opening the Pandora’s box and bringing old pain into the healed wounds.
Never repeat the dead issues or shortcomings of someone whom you love, because at that instant you lose all the respect and all the trust. It is never wise to tell another person’s secret when you fight with them into the open just to spite them. It is a loser attitude and would mean blackmail of a different sort which kills love in any relationship. Never clean your laundry in public and your personal problems or family troubles or secrets out into the open for everybody to hear. No one would side with you for betraying confidence and tarnishing character or laud you for your big mouth which gossips, instead you would be ridiculed for your bad up bringing or will be distrusted by all.
Gossip is yet another evil, which destroys reputations, maligns character, and breaks good relations. It is the root evil that women as well as men should try to conquer. It’s not respectable of a woman or man with class or good up bringing to discuss someone else’s issues or judge, adding new exaggerated information to some passover gossip making it turn into avalanche proportions attacking someone else’s life and in the process killing a person with words. I would rather not have a conversation than to slander someone else . It is better to be silent than speak nonsense and things of no consequence about a person who has the right to be not judged before being known.
There is a lot of wisdom in the old sayings; they have not been passed over for centuries for nothing. One should respect age and experience, both of which gives wisdom to conduct a life which is morally right, induced with values and principles that gives one the direction it needs instead of the ambiguity of heading off into different directions with no peace and goal. The ancient wisdom says “silence is golden” and when it comes to engaging in slander gossip it’s a much-needed wisdom to adhere to the Golden silence.
Never repeat the dead issues or shortcomings of someone whom you love, because at that instant you lose all the respect and all the trust. It is never wise to tell another person’s secret when you fight with them into the open just to spite them. It is a loser attitude and would mean blackmail of a different sort which kills love in any relationship. Never clean your laundry in public and your personal problems or family troubles or secrets out into the open for everybody to hear. No one would side with you for betraying confidence and tarnishing character or laud you for your big mouth which gossips, instead you would be ridiculed for your bad up bringing or will be distrusted by all.
Gossip is yet another evil, which destroys reputations, maligns character, and breaks good relations. It is the root evil that women as well as men should try to conquer. It’s not respectable of a woman or man with class or good up bringing to discuss someone else’s issues or judge, adding new exaggerated information to some passover gossip making it turn into avalanche proportions attacking someone else’s life and in the process killing a person with words. I would rather not have a conversation than to slander someone else . It is better to be silent than speak nonsense and things of no consequence about a person who has the right to be not judged before being known.
There is a lot of wisdom in the old sayings; they have not been passed over for centuries for nothing. One should respect age and experience, both of which gives wisdom to conduct a life which is morally right, induced with values and principles that gives one the direction it needs instead of the ambiguity of heading off into different directions with no peace and goal. The ancient wisdom says “silence is golden” and when it comes to engaging in slander gossip it’s a much-needed wisdom to adhere to the Golden silence.
Equation Change Of Relationships: A Myth or Reality!
An Equation of change for a relationship! Can you solve it, is it a constant, can it be changed?
Sometimes you change the equation of a relationship just because a person means more to you than the kind of relationship you share. You feel as long as the person is in your life, that’s all that matters because at the end of the road you want your life to mean something with people in it whom you loved once and shared happy moments in along the journey. Does it matter that the relationship is changed, broken or that we have moved on to someone else? We should rather treasure the person we have been with,, who has touched our life in a special way at some point. That person may or may not become your good friend, it may or may not be fair on the other person who shares your ex’s life or yours. There can be a peaceful existence when we draw a line to these relationships from the past. Yet where do we draw the line? There is a possibility of an underlying emotion with ulterior motive or possibility of a beautiful friendship. Sometimes it is not right to keep that person in your life and sometimes it is unnecessary to block that person.
There are two categories of people in this particular situation. For some of us we have it in us to think morally, controlling impulses, and doing the right thing by drawing line where it matters to balance your life and to keep the person you are seeing secure & being true to yourself. One can never have a beautiful relationship by betraying a friend, your lover or your conscience. Love doesn’t hurt another; if it does it would never last. All great love stories didn’t become eternal with malice I think.
The next category are those who think dating your ex gf / bf’s best friend or friend is all right because this person is the love of your life. These dudes & dudettes are completely disillusioned about love, or equation change. They shouldn’t try to be friendly with their ex ever coz they can’t handle the emotional overdrive as the ones who think it’s wrong to betray a friend over a lover.
For this particular genre of people the old classic way of stop contact and block holds for a better-uncomplicated life. For, this kind of person everything gets mixed up and they end up doing what they feel than what is the right thing to do morally when those emotions kept in check suddenly starts playing havoc and thinking power gets screwed up to the extent of bending the given equation to one’s own advantage. That’s when suddenly everything is thrown upto the heavens and one justifies by thinking maybe destiny was leading to this one point all the time and you have been just cooking up equations to just stay close to a person you loved and never really knew you really loved all the while.
In the modern age of fast communication and a smaller world with everyone knowing everyone, has relationships changed too? Gone are the days where one cuts the other person off because you have stopped seeing each other, and that means both ways of seeing each other (physical presence as well as emotional gear change) .I feel it’s a healthy practice to become friends as long as you know who you really are and which category you fall under.
Sometimes you change the equation of a relationship just because a person means more to you than the kind of relationship you share. You feel as long as the person is in your life, that’s all that matters because at the end of the road you want your life to mean something with people in it whom you loved once and shared happy moments in along the journey. Does it matter that the relationship is changed, broken or that we have moved on to someone else? We should rather treasure the person we have been with,, who has touched our life in a special way at some point. That person may or may not become your good friend, it may or may not be fair on the other person who shares your ex’s life or yours. There can be a peaceful existence when we draw a line to these relationships from the past. Yet where do we draw the line? There is a possibility of an underlying emotion with ulterior motive or possibility of a beautiful friendship. Sometimes it is not right to keep that person in your life and sometimes it is unnecessary to block that person.
There are two categories of people in this particular situation. For some of us we have it in us to think morally, controlling impulses, and doing the right thing by drawing line where it matters to balance your life and to keep the person you are seeing secure & being true to yourself. One can never have a beautiful relationship by betraying a friend, your lover or your conscience. Love doesn’t hurt another; if it does it would never last. All great love stories didn’t become eternal with malice I think.
The next category are those who think dating your ex gf / bf’s best friend or friend is all right because this person is the love of your life. These dudes & dudettes are completely disillusioned about love, or equation change. They shouldn’t try to be friendly with their ex ever coz they can’t handle the emotional overdrive as the ones who think it’s wrong to betray a friend over a lover.
For this particular genre of people the old classic way of stop contact and block holds for a better-uncomplicated life. For, this kind of person everything gets mixed up and they end up doing what they feel than what is the right thing to do morally when those emotions kept in check suddenly starts playing havoc and thinking power gets screwed up to the extent of bending the given equation to one’s own advantage. That’s when suddenly everything is thrown upto the heavens and one justifies by thinking maybe destiny was leading to this one point all the time and you have been just cooking up equations to just stay close to a person you loved and never really knew you really loved all the while.
In the modern age of fast communication and a smaller world with everyone knowing everyone, has relationships changed too? Gone are the days where one cuts the other person off because you have stopped seeing each other, and that means both ways of seeing each other (physical presence as well as emotional gear change) .I feel it’s a healthy practice to become friends as long as you know who you really are and which category you fall under.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Beauty or Personality ?
It’s easier to love a beautiful person with love at first glance than to love a beautiful personality, which doesn’t happen at one glance but with repeatedly meeting and sharing. Are you the love at first sight kind or love slow kind?
You can test this by finding out what is it that attracts you in a movie. This is the best possible test that can give you a fast answer than to actually introspect so much that it hurts ur head and all those relationships you get engaged in. Ask yourself “Do I love the beauty or the personality of a character in this movie?” Your answer determines in which areas of your life you have to work on. Life is a movie too in some ways; it just has too many casts, too many plots and is way longer in terms of time period, way longer than the flicks of Karon Johar.
A personality is the person: a whole lifetime of hard work to make the choices worthwhile, that you who is conveyed through a letter, a face book wall, an orkut page, a blog, a voice on the phone, a friend, a soothsayer, an understanding human, a sensitive to other kind of person, a hobby, a kind word, a way of living, a person who is innately good. Beauty fades away slowly with the youth. Some contexts define beauty as that which is mysterious, hidden partially, and the beauty that which you see every day loses its mystery and the royalty fades off. A good-looking person with a striking personality is a gift, yet when youth passes only the personality remains and if you love that more in your better half, then you are a lucky person to have known real love. Somehow that’s how friends stay longer next to you happy than a life partner sometimes.
One might wonder as to how a pleasing personality is made. There is no time tested formulae that tells when a person has settled down with fulfilling thoughts. I feel every one has been given a 6th or 7th sense that tells them what is good for them, what is innately good for them: The food habits; the way we should sleep; that Yoga is good for keeping us young & active; that a hobby fulfills us; that we can utilize every minute of the day towards preparing our self for something ; perfecting our talents helps us reach our maximum capacity; that introspecting our actions & thoughts gives us insight; and patience is an art which is learned; all these conveyed to us through just a feeling or gut or intuition , whatever we may call it. Yet we stick to our habits, or the way things are or just plain go against what we feel, slowing making us lose our chance for doing things right. We always procrastinate thinking “there is a tomorrow” and that we have all the time in the world to listen to that inner calling asking us to attend to what we need instead of just surviving.
There is a black hole of dissatisfaction in all of us and a nagging voice of displeasure telling us what we have lost or what could have been or just that it’s not too late. Every one of us brushes it aside except a few and tells our self that something else is more important. We convey these inner turmoil by taking it out on the world, the next person sitting in the office, the wife or husband when we get back home, children if you have any, parents if you still live with them or our closest friends who stick to our side no matter how hurt they are simply because they think you are having a bad day. Yet what if that bad day continues every day? Then you might find yourself alone someday because ‘every one has been given a 6th or 7th sense that tells them what is good for them, what is innately good for them’, and you are not good for them any more.
You should not live your parent’s life, your partner’s life, your children’s life, what you should live is “Your Life”, and your life means fulfilling those inner voices telling you what is right, and what is good for you and not what is good for the other person because you don’t know that. The greater good is just an illusion because if you are not happy with yourself, then you definitely can’t make the other person sharing your life as a friend, life partner or just ‘a person you know’ happy.
Life doesn’t give too many choices and when the time is gone to make those changes, there is no use regretting, as life is as short as you make it or as long as you break it.
You can test this by finding out what is it that attracts you in a movie. This is the best possible test that can give you a fast answer than to actually introspect so much that it hurts ur head and all those relationships you get engaged in. Ask yourself “Do I love the beauty or the personality of a character in this movie?” Your answer determines in which areas of your life you have to work on. Life is a movie too in some ways; it just has too many casts, too many plots and is way longer in terms of time period, way longer than the flicks of Karon Johar.
A personality is the person: a whole lifetime of hard work to make the choices worthwhile, that you who is conveyed through a letter, a face book wall, an orkut page, a blog, a voice on the phone, a friend, a soothsayer, an understanding human, a sensitive to other kind of person, a hobby, a kind word, a way of living, a person who is innately good. Beauty fades away slowly with the youth. Some contexts define beauty as that which is mysterious, hidden partially, and the beauty that which you see every day loses its mystery and the royalty fades off. A good-looking person with a striking personality is a gift, yet when youth passes only the personality remains and if you love that more in your better half, then you are a lucky person to have known real love. Somehow that’s how friends stay longer next to you happy than a life partner sometimes.
One might wonder as to how a pleasing personality is made. There is no time tested formulae that tells when a person has settled down with fulfilling thoughts. I feel every one has been given a 6th or 7th sense that tells them what is good for them, what is innately good for them: The food habits; the way we should sleep; that Yoga is good for keeping us young & active; that a hobby fulfills us; that we can utilize every minute of the day towards preparing our self for something ; perfecting our talents helps us reach our maximum capacity; that introspecting our actions & thoughts gives us insight; and patience is an art which is learned; all these conveyed to us through just a feeling or gut or intuition , whatever we may call it. Yet we stick to our habits, or the way things are or just plain go against what we feel, slowing making us lose our chance for doing things right. We always procrastinate thinking “there is a tomorrow” and that we have all the time in the world to listen to that inner calling asking us to attend to what we need instead of just surviving.
There is a black hole of dissatisfaction in all of us and a nagging voice of displeasure telling us what we have lost or what could have been or just that it’s not too late. Every one of us brushes it aside except a few and tells our self that something else is more important. We convey these inner turmoil by taking it out on the world, the next person sitting in the office, the wife or husband when we get back home, children if you have any, parents if you still live with them or our closest friends who stick to our side no matter how hurt they are simply because they think you are having a bad day. Yet what if that bad day continues every day? Then you might find yourself alone someday because ‘every one has been given a 6th or 7th sense that tells them what is good for them, what is innately good for them’, and you are not good for them any more.
You should not live your parent’s life, your partner’s life, your children’s life, what you should live is “Your Life”, and your life means fulfilling those inner voices telling you what is right, and what is good for you and not what is good for the other person because you don’t know that. The greater good is just an illusion because if you are not happy with yourself, then you definitely can’t make the other person sharing your life as a friend, life partner or just ‘a person you know’ happy.
Life doesn’t give too many choices and when the time is gone to make those changes, there is no use regretting, as life is as short as you make it or as long as you break it.
Friday, February 5, 2010
The grey state of mind !
There is really two sides to you,
The one that people expect you to be,
And the other that you really are.
Sometimes expectations exceeds you,
Sometimes you exceed the expectations.
But life is all about the balance ,
The yin and the yan,
To attain it is an achievement.
One half of you giving the expected to fulfill others ,
and the other half of real you to fulfill self.
Niether can you be consumed with only you,
nor can you be doing only the expected to be entirely altruistic.
If it's the former you come across as insenstive and selfish,
If it's the latter you come across as someone to be taken for granted.
Its the two ends of a pendulum
So instead of black or white ,
attain the grey state of mind,
Where you are beyond beautiful,
One with humanity yet without losing your self!
- Priya
The one that people expect you to be,
And the other that you really are.
Sometimes expectations exceeds you,
Sometimes you exceed the expectations.
But life is all about the balance ,
The yin and the yan,
To attain it is an achievement.
One half of you giving the expected to fulfill others ,
and the other half of real you to fulfill self.
Niether can you be consumed with only you,
nor can you be doing only the expected to be entirely altruistic.
If it's the former you come across as insenstive and selfish,
If it's the latter you come across as someone to be taken for granted.
Its the two ends of a pendulum
So instead of black or white ,
attain the grey state of mind,
Where you are beyond beautiful,
One with humanity yet without losing your self!
- Priya
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