Life is Like a Cup of Coffee

Life is Like a Cup of Coffee
Spiritual Story by Unknown


A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.

Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: "If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups have been taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress.

Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups... And then you began eyeing each other's cups.

Now consider this: Life is the coffee; the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of life we live.

Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee. Savor the coffee, not the cups! The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything. Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly.

I see you AT LAST !

The urge to travel: thats what has been eating into my peace lately. This urgency to leave the place I'm in. Something just seems to be ticking inside me and I'm unable to stop the overwhelming feeling of packing my bags and just leave. I want to say "I see you" to myself. I want to just go on in this journey of discovery of "What do I need? & Who am I?". I think I need security & family but then that doesn't seem to be able stop the gnawing inside that says " Don't try to force something that I can't adapt to, the time is gone for bonding, it's time to just embrace the world and leave what I fancied would be something that I ought to be" . I'm no home maker, I'm no Home bound girl, I TRIED ,OH HOW I TRIED BUT I JUST CAN'T SEEM TO BE WHAT I'M NOT.

Family expectations go beyond my capacity to give. I would rather I could be what I'm not to them, but Somethings can't be changed, something that is carved into me like the very breath that I take to Live. What I'm doing is conventionalty but what I'm is non-conventional. I would like to bury the "I" in me and become one with all but the "I" in me keep calling out and refuse to die out. It's not lack of trying, I have tried since school but even if you strip an eagle of it's skin and put a sparrow's feathers to it, an eagle won't change it's nature to Fly above the skies and against the storm. A sparrow would be much more content with the hearth but a Bird that is made for freedom and independence wants more. A sparrow may aim to fly higher than the clouds but it can still stay happy chirping around the trees yet an eagle knows not what happiness is unless soaring above the clouds free . "Freedom" I need that, "Acceptance" I need that, but I guess that the acceptance I'm wisihing for is more yet freedom is what I NEED in my very soul.

I LET ME LOSE SO MANY TIMES OVER , NOW I JUST NEED TO SOAR. I wish I could be more to you yet I die every day slowly trying to be what I'm not. So heres to freedom at last! I'm taking the plunge.

Luck ,Coincidence & Faith

"My Heart Is Afraid that it will have to suffer," the boy told the alchemist one night as they looked up at the moonless sky."Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams."

Live-In to be Legal ?

Yellows, greens and blues! Beautiful colours. But which one is the best?

So in the same note, is it ok to live in or is it Not ? Are you one of those who believes a live-in relationship makes the couple get to know each other better before they make that final commitment? Or one of those who thinks that the get-married and then get to know each other phase is more safe and also right from the religious point of view. Conventional or Non-conventional is the question, yet what defines it?

We are stuck in the middle of a modern and a conservative culture. On one hand we have the Kamasutra, the Yoga postures enabling better sexual pleasures and wokshipping the Phallynx symbol of a man & woman's sexual organ as Gods. On the other hand we have the modesty, the discipline, the abstinence and all that right things according to the modern religion that constitutes the Indian Culture now per say. Be it Hindu, Muslim , Christian, Budhist or Parsi, In India we all adhere to certain doctrines that defines where to draw a line and leave us to decide the rest.

There is a fine line that divides the Erotica & Vulgarity, Right & Wrong and Culture & Lack of it. History tells us about the concubines, mistresses, durbar dancers, Famous Prostitutes like Umrao jaan,& Paakizaa, all of it spinning stories of our culture. Today the difference is that a concubine & a mistress has been given a name "Girl Friend" or " Fiancee" , a much more legalised word that elevates the status of a woman in the society instead of looking at her as just a sexual partner. The right or option to become a wife instead of staying without a name is exercised. The same can be said for men today since it's the era of gender equality , the new "boyfriend" is an elevated name for a 'Gigolo' , this may offend many men ofcourse but that's just history and today it's a different ballgame altogether.

Today's culture is a welcome relief to both the genders because of the freedom it lets us exercise, and still hold a respectable place in society. Yet a couple who opt for a Live-in is still penalised under the Indian Law and can be booked under Immoral trafficking which is quite degrading but that's how it is. Our government won't get rid of the Red streets, the illegal prostitution, the corrupt nature of the Law enforcement handling Women's right issues, the cyber crimes of videographing any women or man without their permission. The least that can be done is to let the Live-in couple have a clear conscience & register somewhere for contractual living just like we enlist our name for a new car or a phone until the final binding of Marriage. Maybe it's thinking in its extremity but it's better than being persecuted. Or lets' say it's better to except that the new generation is going to have their way so why not let the new era of modern living be welcomed with a much more open-mindedness and a little more respect & understanding of why it has reached to this stage of freeliving.

I peek into the minds of such couple and that of the modernists and know that past failures of a longterm relationships are being compensated by having a present new short term failed relationships. It's a Cycle , everything is bieng tested and hypothesised and inference of the experimental relationships are noted for further successes in the new ones. So it's not a bad experiment maybe because we learn and we learn some more, and we stand the chance of becoming a philosopher with a succesful relationship at longlast.


Divorce : that word has entered our culture stealthily and It is here to stay too. It is a word that gives freedom to choose, the power of choice to a man & a woman to be happy or unhappy in a relationship. So inorder to avoid the legal hazards of a divorce, the new word "Live -In " is creeping in slowly and in some more time we may have a new law that legalises it too just like the decriminalisation of Homosexuality. We are progressing into a new era " Kal Yug" as the ancients call it. We don't know if we are Progressing or Regressing, yet let's keep an open mind and except the changes, becauase whether we like it or not " When in Rome , Be like the Romans" and "When in the 21st century of Kal Yug, Be like the Kalyugans" or hold your ground to those values and be ready to face the consequences of being Outcasted.

The Cycle has to keep moving , whether we like it or not...

No last Name! Care to give one?

Yesterday I happen to visit the orphanage of Mother Teresa. There were babies from 1day old to 5 years. I happen to be one of those people who like doing voluntary service once in a while purely for selfish reasons; I go to spend some time with the most innocent Angels of God, to do speed post delivery of all my prayers through their sweet voice. Otherwise when I don’t have any demands from my Maker, I go for some satisfaction that I am doing some good to some of the best people on earth: the little babies of these homes.

I noticed a new born this time who was too striking. She was this little baby girl who was just 5 days old, so beautiful was she that I wondered how a mother could abandon such a tiny little wrap. It was then that one of my nun friends told me that some unwed mothers happen to go to abortion centers and some few doctors who have some conscience left in them suggest the children’s home of Mother Teresa or such centers where they could come and stay till they gave birth and then give up all rights on the child by agreeing for adoption. These women happen to be just caught in unfortunate circumstances. I saw one such mother feeding the baby, and on enquiry came to know that she was going to stay till the baby is 3 months old, so that she could give her breast milk and then leave the baby with the nuns for adoption. These women who stay back happen to work with these nuns all over India after giving up their child in cases where they can’t return home.

There was something else that everyone should know and that is that foreigners adopt kids who were born with birth defects since Indians wouldn’t take them. One such child is Priston who is being adopted by an Italian family. He is due to leave in March. Priston is 5 years old and has gone through a by pass surgery already at his young age and happen to have 6 fingers on his hands and feet. This little boy happens to hold the heart of many even though he has a weak heart. He sings movie songs with such childish perfection that it’s difficult not to fall in love with him. Every Sunday morning he attends Church and during the singing he lifts both his hands up and prays to God. During prayers he lifts his hands up and looks up into the skies and sings with such sincerity that it renders anyone with awe at his complete faith.

Almost all the kids from here get adopted except the ones who have retardation, and such is another girl named Lily who is 10 years old. Now days not many babies are handed over to the Children’s Home of Mother Teresa. There are a lot of people who happen to exchange the babies when they are in the hospitals before notifying the concerned authorities. And when the concerned CWC (Child Welfare & Care ) , the CSW ( Community Social worker ) representatives send these kids according to the need of the child to different institutions, it so happens that during these exchanges there are a lot of malpractices conducted too. Some of these new borns exchanged illegally are sold off to owners of extreme sports and betting , where they use the babies in the most inhuman way for some twisted sense of adventure and thrill. During the earlier days, before the advent of technology, the cruelest way was practiced in Rajasthan where these new born are tied to the legs of the camels during the race to make the camels run faster because of the cries of the baby.

Giving babies up for legal adoption ensures their safety and also preserves their history , as many of these kids who were adopted into foreign homes come back to the orphanages to meet the nuns and know where they have come from. The confidentiality clause does not allow for disclosure of sensitive information, yet something is better than nothing for these kids who want to know their roots.

In order to legally adopt a newborn baby of few days old, the parents should be below 45 years old with an ownership of a home and a stable job. Every institution has their rules and regulations but in general all these places have these basic requirements. An amount of Rs.25 thousand is deposited in the name of the Child and the institution from which the baby is adopted as is the policy of Mother Teresa’s children’s homes. Single parents can also adopt but they are not given preference in mother Teresa’s Orphanages. In case the parents are above 50 years old a child of 5 years and above is the only option given, since a psychological bond is difficult to form for a baby to parents who are older than 50 years normally due to the age gap.

Anyways the same day I encountered a different experience of a lifetime relating to a kid whom I happen to chance upon. In the evening I was walking on marine drive and this child approaches me with this toy, which illuminates when swung like ping-pong. I talked to this boy of 8 or 9 years old, he told me that he was from Bihar and he came here for his holidays with his parents to sell things and make money.

On further enquiry he told me his uncle is there with him now, and he went to school too. I had my doubts about his explanations, but then his uncle who was hardly 20 years old came down, He then told me that the toy costs Rs.10, upon which I told him I didn’t bring any cash with me since I was here just for a walk. The boy simply gave the toy to me and told me it was a gift from him, initially I thought he was trying to be smart and then I realized he actually meant it , on my refusal to take it, he just left. I called after him for his name and he shouted “ AZAD”.

I was still not convinced and went near him and returned the toy upon which he said these words “ keep it, I am giving it out of happiness and I would be offended if you return my gift” ,I couldn’t say anything more, I just smiled at him and Azad the 9 year old left smiling. I went back to my car to retrieve some money then, but I couldn’t find him, that’s when I realized he had actually gifted the toy to me and didn’t expect me to reward him at all. Like his name he was free and was among those kids who liked their freedom more than anything. I resolved to give the toy to Priston.: A gift from a free orphan to one who wanted to be secured with care and a name.
It made me wonder about the ironies of life.

History Fights? : Silence is Golden!

History, past and old stories: it’s a bane and a boon. Words are not enough to express how much past effect the present when the events are narrated out of spite or to win a situation by a person who is malevolent over an argument and whose ego is hurt momentarily. The age-old wisdom of never to bring up the past to win a situation is very true and tested through centuries. It may be just a minute’s satisfaction to get an up on somebody but it destroys trust, it brings about violence and pent up anger & hurt. When the past opens up, it has nothing but old wrongs which are long been compensated, old habits which have long been conquered, and old defeats which has been turned into wins, yet when someone uses that past to get back at you in the present, it’s like opening the Pandora’s box and bringing old pain into the healed wounds.

Never repeat the dead issues or shortcomings of someone whom you love, because at that instant you lose all the respect and all the trust. It is never wise to tell another person’s secret when you fight with them into the open just to spite them. It is a loser attitude and would mean blackmail of a different sort which kills love in any relationship. Never clean your laundry in public and your personal problems or family troubles or secrets out into the open for everybody to hear. No one would side with you for betraying confidence and tarnishing character or laud you for your big mouth which gossips, instead you would be ridiculed for your bad up bringing or will be distrusted by all.

Gossip is yet another evil, which destroys reputations, maligns character, and breaks good relations. It is the root evil that women as well as men should try to conquer. It’s not respectable of a woman or man with class or good up bringing to discuss someone else’s issues or judge, adding new exaggerated information to some passover gossip making it turn into avalanche proportions attacking someone else’s life and in the process killing a person with words. I would rather not have a conversation than to slander someone else . It is better to be silent than speak nonsense and things of no consequence about a person who has the right to be not judged before being known.

There is a lot of wisdom in the old sayings; they have not been passed over for centuries for nothing. One should respect age and experience, both of which gives wisdom to conduct a life which is morally right, induced with values and principles that gives one the direction it needs instead of the ambiguity of heading off into different directions with no peace and goal. The ancient wisdom says “silence is golden” and when it comes to engaging in slander gossip it’s a much-needed wisdom to adhere to the Golden silence.

Equation Change Of Relationships: A Myth or Reality!

An Equation of change for a relationship! Can you solve it, is it a constant, can it be changed?

Sometimes you change the equation of a relationship just because a person means more to you than the kind of relationship you share. You feel as long as the person is in your life, that’s all that matters because at the end of the road you want your life to mean something with people in it whom you loved once and shared happy moments in along the journey. Does it matter that the relationship is changed, broken or that we have moved on to someone else? We should rather treasure the person we have been with,, who has touched our life in a special way at some point. That person may or may not become your good friend, it may or may not be fair on the other person who shares your ex’s life or yours. There can be a peaceful existence when we draw a line to these relationships from the past. Yet where do we draw the line? There is a possibility of an underlying emotion with ulterior motive or possibility of a beautiful friendship. Sometimes it is not right to keep that person in your life and sometimes it is unnecessary to block that person.

There are two categories of people in this particular situation. For some of us we have it in us to think morally, controlling impulses, and doing the right thing by drawing line where it matters to balance your life and to keep the person you are seeing secure & being true to yourself. One can never have a beautiful relationship by betraying a friend, your lover or your conscience. Love doesn’t hurt another; if it does it would never last. All great love stories didn’t become eternal with malice I think.

The next category are those who think dating your ex gf / bf’s best friend or friend is all right because this person is the love of your life. These dudes & dudettes are completely disillusioned about love, or equation change. They shouldn’t try to be friendly with their ex ever coz they can’t handle the emotional overdrive as the ones who think it’s wrong to betray a friend over a lover.

For this particular genre of people the old classic way of stop contact and block holds for a better-uncomplicated life. For, this kind of person everything gets mixed up and they end up doing what they feel than what is the right thing to do morally when those emotions kept in check suddenly starts playing havoc and thinking power gets screwed up to the extent of bending the given equation to one’s own advantage. That’s when suddenly everything is thrown upto the heavens and one justifies by thinking maybe destiny was leading to this one point all the time and you have been just cooking up equations to just stay close to a person you loved and never really knew you really loved all the while.

In the modern age of fast communication and a smaller world with everyone knowing everyone, has relationships changed too? Gone are the days where one cuts the other person off because you have stopped seeing each other, and that means both ways of seeing each other (physical presence as well as emotional gear change) .I feel it’s a healthy practice to become friends as long as you know who you really are and which category you fall under.

Beauty or Personality ?

It’s easier to love a beautiful person with love at first glance than to love a beautiful personality, which doesn’t happen at one glance but with repeatedly meeting and sharing. Are you the love at first sight kind or love slow kind?

You can test this by finding out what is it that attracts you in a movie. This is the best possible test that can give you a fast answer than to actually introspect so much that it hurts ur head and all those relationships you get engaged in. Ask yourself “Do I love the beauty or the personality of a character in this movie?” Your answer determines in which areas of your life you have to work on. Life is a movie too in some ways; it just has too many casts, too many plots and is way longer in terms of time period, way longer than the flicks of Karon Johar.

A personality is the person: a whole lifetime of hard work to make the choices worthwhile, that you who is conveyed through a letter, a face book wall, an orkut page, a blog, a voice on the phone, a friend, a soothsayer, an understanding human, a sensitive to other kind of person, a hobby, a kind word, a way of living, a person who is innately good. Beauty fades away slowly with the youth. Some contexts define beauty as that which is mysterious, hidden partially, and the beauty that which you see every day loses its mystery and the royalty fades off. A good-looking person with a striking personality is a gift, yet when youth passes only the personality remains and if you love that more in your better half, then you are a lucky person to have known real love. Somehow that’s how friends stay longer next to you happy than a life partner sometimes.

One might wonder as to how a pleasing personality is made. There is no time tested formulae that tells when a person has settled down with fulfilling thoughts. I feel every one has been given a 6th or 7th sense that tells them what is good for them, what is innately good for them: The food habits; the way we should sleep; that Yoga is good for keeping us young & active; that a hobby fulfills us; that we can utilize every minute of the day towards preparing our self for something ; perfecting our talents helps us reach our maximum capacity; that introspecting our actions & thoughts gives us insight; and patience is an art which is learned; all these conveyed to us through just a feeling or gut or intuition , whatever we may call it. Yet we stick to our habits, or the way things are or just plain go against what we feel, slowing making us lose our chance for doing things right. We always procrastinate thinking “there is a tomorrow” and that we have all the time in the world to listen to that inner calling asking us to attend to what we need instead of just surviving.

There is a black hole of dissatisfaction in all of us and a nagging voice of displeasure telling us what we have lost or what could have been or just that it’s not too late. Every one of us brushes it aside except a few and tells our self that something else is more important. We convey these inner turmoil by taking it out on the world, the next person sitting in the office, the wife or husband when we get back home, children if you have any, parents if you still live with them or our closest friends who stick to our side no matter how hurt they are simply because they think you are having a bad day. Yet what if that bad day continues every day? Then you might find yourself alone someday because ‘every one has been given a 6th or 7th sense that tells them what is good for them, what is innately good for them’, and you are not good for them any more.

You should not live your parent’s life, your partner’s life, your children’s life, what you should live is “Your Life”, and your life means fulfilling those inner voices telling you what is right, and what is good for you and not what is good for the other person because you don’t know that. The greater good is just an illusion because if you are not happy with yourself, then you definitely can’t make the other person sharing your life as a friend, life partner or just ‘a person you know’ happy.

Life doesn’t give too many choices and when the time is gone to make those changes, there is no use regretting, as life is as short as you make it or as long as you break it.

The grey state of mind !

There is really two sides to you,
The one that people expect you to be,
And the other that you really are.
Sometimes expectations exceeds you,
Sometimes you exceed the expectations.
But life is all about the balance ,
The yin and the yan,
To attain it is an achievement.
One half of you giving the expected to fulfill others ,
and the other half of real you to fulfill self.
Niether can you be consumed with only you,
nor can you be doing only the expected to be entirely altruistic.
If it's the former you come across as insenstive and selfish,
If it's the latter you come across as someone to be taken for granted.
Its the two ends of a pendulum
So instead of black or white ,
attain the grey state of mind,
Where you are beyond beautiful,
One with humanity yet without losing your self!


- Priya